Dear Les,

The holidays are coming and so is my anxiety. Despite my efforts not to wig out, somehow each year I get caught up in all the year end madness—the non-stop shopping, eating and forced socializing. And before I know it I am totally stressed and angry. I don't want to spend another holiday so frazzled that I can't even enjoy it. Any ideas on what I can do to have a "happy holiday?"

-Fearful of a Blue Christmas

P.S. And if I have to listen to Wham singing “Last Christmas” from now until New Years, I’m going to puke!

Dear Fearful of a Blue Christmas,

Start reaching for that barf bag. No, wait! Do you really have to listen to the holiday Hot 100? Must you buy as many gifts? Is attending and eating at all the parties mandatory? You don’t need to cut and run from the Christmas-Quanza-Hanukah-Festivus-frenzy, but changing course on how you make your way through the holidays can help you keep your feelings during this time on a more festive footing--more on the course corrections in a minute.

It would take a sack full of bandwidth to cover all of the reasons that a lot of us get stressed and depressed during a time when we’re “supposed” to be merry and bright. For sure, many of our gooses get cooked when we buy into the tsunami of popular pressure and often unrealistic expectations to score lots of perfect gifts, revel in all the parties, skip through the airport like a sugar plumb fairy, and love every last minute of time spent with those we travel to see.

Here’s the advice: grab those reindeer by their antlers and follow this holiday stress prevention plan:

1. Use the first sighting of a holiday decoration (now at midnight on October 31st) to make a list of your holiday traditions that cause the most stress such as shopping, over-eating, flying, or faking 24/7 cheer.

2. Generate some ideas about how to modify those traditions to stop or reduce the stress that accompanies them: shop on line at home instead of at the crowded mall, give homemade presents that mean something, only give gifts to the millions of poor, starving, endangered people in places where Santa doesn’t stop, and so on.

3. Plan and schedule a few things that you really enjoy as a way of balancing the stressful holiday stuff you're not so wild about: read that book, take a hike, take a bath, take a nap, etc.

4. Communicate and explain your plans to your family and friends who may be stressed by your holiday stress prevention efforts. Your example might be a lasting gift to others looking for similar light.

Retailers, credit card co’s, party planners and pop music programmers may disagree, but November and December belong to you and yours. Could additional stress-reducing satisfaction come from resisting some of their holiday yuletide that sucks your spirits in and under? Hang this notion on your tree, bush or pole and be your own stress management miracle worker this season. You can do it, my friend, but you gotta have faith.

Les
12/06