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MANAGING MONEY WORRIES
I actually have very little to worry about since I have a job and am not in danger of losing it in this economy. However I worry a lot about money anyway such as paying bills and trying to save but not always being successful. I feel like this and the bad situation of the world economy makes a lot of stress for me and my husband and I would like some tips on reducing stress from money. Thank you.
New Jersey
Hello NJ,
It’s great that you are putting your mouth where your money is because communicating concerns would be my first stress reducing suggestion. Not dealing with financial and other life stressors in the hope they’ll just go away often ends up making them even worse. I’m glad that you are not experiencing major money problems like many are today—problems that need more than tips on a website to be resolved. Here are some additional ideas directed more at people in your situation, but not exclusive to those who are better off.
Plan
You and your husband probably wouldn’t drive from the Atlantic City Expressway to the Pacific Coast Highway without mapping your trip. Why not? Because you’d get lost, start arguing and waste a lot of gas. Similarly, planning how your money will be spent and hopefully saved from the first to the last day each month can help keep you on track financially and emotionally. Charting courses from where you are to where you want to be in all kinds of situations can help you feel more in control, a feeling that often jump starts stress reduction. Unlike credit, there’s no shortage of resources for financial planning help from free websites and government offices to software and accountants.
Cut Back on Information
After you have a better idea of where you and your money are going, grab that remote and shut off the TV, or at least regulate your media intake. WE KNOW the economy hasn’t been this bad since the Great Depression. WE KNOW lots of people are unfortunately losing their jobs. And WE KNOW that Special K costs more, 401k’s are worth less, and Kmart went bust. We know because most media outlets tell us over and over and over again. Beyond appropriately figuring what we know into our financial planning, there’s not much else we can do with this information, except allow it to ramp up our stress and wear down our spirits. Yes, it’s a rough time—a devastating time for some, but despite the attention grabbing language like “meltdown,” “crisis,” and all the other apocalyptic adjectives, the world is not coming to an end for most of us. Every recession and depression has ended, and this one too shall pass.
Balance Your Life Account
Now that you’ve turned off the “news,” it’s time to balance the bad news banter with exercise, laughter, socializing, pleasure reading, sleep and other stress blockers and busters that add up to better health no matter the sources of your stress. Pick and stick with some activities that make you feel good and at least temporarily take you away from your worries. Why, you could even grab your guy and double your stress reduction return by also helping people who are more stressed than you.
I once heard that money is the #1 topic discussed by couples in therapy (sex is next on the list). Discussing and doing something about monetary woes is easier said than done, though, because they are often connected to self-worth, roles, upbringing and the ways we compare ourselves to others. Of course, addressing this larger portfolio of issues is another way to withdraw money and other stressors from our lives.
Thanks for getting this important conversation started.
Les
12/08
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