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SEPARATE BEDS--DID LUCY AND RICKY GET IT RIGHT?
I know that Lucy and Ricky slept in separate beds because putting them on one mattress would have corrupted young minds. Do you think it’s possible that they also slept apart because Ricky, like my husband, did the mambo in his sleep, keeping poor Lucy awake half the night?
Ethel
Dear Ethel,
No, it was probably 1950s moral norms that kept the Ricardo’s apart, but I love your I Love Lucy flashback because it gives us the chance to expand our thinking in the name of stress reduction.
Times have changed: two or three people in a bed on TV today is nothing unusual, and I certainly can’t think of any positive examples of on-screen partners slumbering solo so they can rest in peace or for any other reason. Could this be because we now consider romantic pairs sleeping in different beds or rooms weird or a sign that there’s trouble in paradise? Is the desire to lose the “we” in the wee hours at odds with the common belief that couples are supposed to stick together—especially at night? After all, this is one of the great benefits of partnership, right?
Undercover companionship can be dreamy and incredibly satisfying, but I say, “Adios,” to any inflexible belief that couples that want to stay together will always lay together. In fact, the opposite may be true since high quality sleep is vital to optimal energy, clear communication, immune system strength, lower stress and just about every other good health and relationship ingredient. If we really love someone, we’ll talk openly about these issues, figure out mutually acceptable options, and set them free from any guilt associated with nocturnal alone time.
Unlike that brilliant sitcom of yesteryear, sleeping solo doesn’t have to be black and white. Couples can just pick certain nights when they’ll separate, establish open bed policies that always allow mates to return, or devise strategies where partners start out on their own and then join up later when bouncing mattresses or supersonic snoring are less of a bother. If limited sleeping space or togetherness preferences won’t allow a Lucy-Ricky arrangement, those mattresses that simulate separate beds abound.
Hope these ideas get you and Fred off the dance floor and into dreamland.
Les
11/08
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