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les Stress
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FOCUS POCUS
Dear Les,
As I get older (I am 45) I find it harder and harder to focus on things (work, reading, conversations, tv). I know that this is common, but I don’t know what to do about it. I hear a lot about improving focus, but I have never found a good explanation for how to get more focused. I have also heard that sharpening focus is very good for stress reduction. I fear this question lacks focus so I hope that you can sift through it. Thank you.
HI,
You’ve heard correctly! Focus, or paying attention to what’s going on right here, right now, can act like a magic wand that makes stressed feelings disappear. Despite this post’s title, this is not a trick answer because focusing on one thing at a time is less demanding on the brain and therefore feels better than thinking about many things at once. As simple as the above explanation might sound, moment-to-moment awareness rarely happens with a snap of the fingers or twitching of the nose; it’s a learned skill that usually needs active application in order for it to work. And when pure presence is achieved, it doesn’t hang around for very long. So why bother? Because even occasional periods of moment-to-moment awareness, boosts productivity and pleasure, sharpens problem solving, and even prevents accidents and falls, among other benefits.
So, what’s the difference between being and not being in the moment? Well, the answer to this valuable question may appear when you consider the following:
When you were showering this morning, were you feeling the warm water run through your hair and down your body, or was your “head” already at the office thinking about the conference calls you'll be on and meetings you have to attend?
When you were on that conference call with your colleagues, were you paying full attention to what they were saying and how they were saying it, or were you considering how a pepperoni slice versus a garden salad would taste for lunch?
When you were eating that pizza, did you think about how each bite tasted, smelled and felt, or were you texting and checking email?
When you were touching and kissing your partner tonight, were you fully connecting with him or her, or were you wondering who was on Letterman?
The how-to of moment-to-moment awareness can be found in those questions. Since we tend to mentally multitask, we need to make an effort to focus only on what we’re engaged in at any given moment. It’s tough to do, but you need to steer your thoughts to the activities and sensations at hand in order to, not only get the most out of them, but to alleviate some of the stress of processing lots of thoughts at the same time. We can try this out right now if you have a raisin, cough drop, Tic Tac, or something like that around:
- Close your eyes and put the raisin or whatever on your tongue.
- Direct every ounce of your attention to how that raising feels in your mouth; slowly move it around in there and notice it’s texture, your saliva forming around it, the increasing flavor seeping out if it, and perhaps any smell escaping to your nose.
- Keep all that in your attention and carefully begin to chew the raisin; focus like a laser on the new sensations that biting into it bring to you. Go on chewing until it’s just raisin juice and some skin sitting there on your tongue; swirled that “cocktail” around in your mouth for a while like it’s a pinball bouncing into and setting off the receptors inside your cheeks, the roof of your mouth, the top and bottom of your tongue, and your gums and teeth. Is the goo tangy, warm, slimy, smooth?
- Now, use your tongue to gently guide the mix down your throat; let it drip down and concentrate like a hawk on how its residue tastes in your mouth, where its most concentrated and how long that aftertaste hangs out.
Continue if you’d like, but I’m wondering how it feels so far to be so aware of that little thing in your mouth for so long? Did your dedicated attention to what was going on in your mouth evaporate and keep out other thoughts, leaving you with a lighter, less-burdened and more alive feeling? Apply this attention surplus to other activities such as brushing your teeth, tying your shoes, texting, listening to music and working out to see if you can make moment-to-moment awareness work magic for you.
The other important half of this focus formula is remembering to focus in the first place since most of us just float from one mix of thoughts to another without ever contemplating what I’ve proposed here. Visible reminders may work best—things such as the old string around the finger, a screen saver with the word “FOCUS” on it, or a quiet once-a-minute tone from your cell phone that signals you to be in that moment. You can also prompt this focus when workmates, teammates, or bedmates are involved by believing that your complete attention to them is downright respectful.
There are ways to make this moment-to-moment awareness more automatic—namely various forms of meditation, yoga, tai chi and other practices that at their core focus one’s attention on one thing at a time such as breathing, a mantra, or body movements. Dedicated use of these techniques seems to train the brain to do the same whether you’re grooming, working, playing or just being.
Les
10/08
PS: Jon Kabat-Zin’s book, Wherever You Go, There You Are, is a great, in-depth guide for being more present, and there’s more about it in the relax now! section here under more stress resources.
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