| |
les Stress
-> Questions & Answers
<< return
to previous page
PMMS: PEOPLE MAKE ME STRESSED
I think I spend half my day stressed from what others do and don’t do. The reckless drivers, the coworkers that don’t say hello in the morning, the people that don’t hold doors for you, people who don’t say “thank you,” the people who yell on their cell phones in restaurants, the checkout clerks that don’t acknowledge your existence, the bike messengers who almost run you over, and all the rest. This stuff gets me angry all the time and I really don’t want to be this way, but I can’t seem to help it. I know others feel the same way, so I’m hoping that you will have some suggestions.
AC
Dear AC,
I feel your pain and wish for a magic wand response to dissolve that undercurrent of anger that is stressful, tiring and dispiriting. Instead, maybe we should set a more realistic goal: to use a combination of strategies to noticeably reduce our unwanted responses to the actions of others. Note that the emphasis is on us, not them.
Here are some ideas inspired by your stressors that are applicable in lots of situations:
Reckless drivers
Take mass transit, change your route, or commute at a different time, to avoid drivers that drive us mad.
Silent coworkers
Model good manners and respect by saying “hello” to the silent types. Talk up the virtues of “Good morning” with colleagues individually or in a meeting, emphasizing the likely benefits of such salutations for your work environment.
Door snobs
Say, “Thank you.”, anyway with the hope that the next person behind them gets politely acknowledged. Try to revive this practice by demonstrating that complex skill of glancing over your shoulder and holding the door if necessary, when entering and exiting rooms and buildings.
The “Thank”-less
As with the door snobs, say, “You’re welcome.”, anyway and try to model the thank you thing for others.
Cell yellers
Read Second-Hand Cell May Be Hazardous To Your Health in the Les Stress archive (linked to below).
Checked-out clerks
Check in and engage them with a “Hi, how are you?” request that management work toward more hospitable conditions, or shop at stores with better and more sincere customer service,
Runaway bicycle messengers
Start or get involved in community efforts to improve peddler and pedestrian safety.
All of the above may involve more time, an evaluation of your situational safety and a healthy dose of recognizing that many factors contribute to ways we all behave, including the electronic devices that are dulling our awareness of the people, places and things around us. Turning the tide against the stress sources you sited may not be possible, but adjusting our life vests, raising the right sails, and charting new courses, can help us reach calmer seas.
Les
5/08
|
|
|
