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MY FUNKY VALENTINE
I will be alone this year on Valentine’s Day and I’m feeling depressed about it. I have been in relationships before on 2/14 and I think it’s better to have someone to celebrate with than not. Do you have any suggestions that might help me get through this year’s love fest alone?
Alone
Dear Alone,
YOU’RE NOT ALONE because millions of others will also go romantically solo through this and future Feb. 14s—some unwillingly, and some by choice. It’s easy for longing singles to feel left out this time of year with so many media messages that make it seem like being coupled is the one and only option.
At the same time, however, Valentine’s Day provides an amazing opportunity to practice the potent stress management strategy of adopting different ways of thinking about our stressors along with behavior changes to reduce the upset they cause us. So, let’s try tossing that fantasy box of chocolates and sampling these alternatives to all the traditional V-Day activities and mindsets:
- Do something for someone in need on Feb. 14; you’ll be assisting them, distracting yourself from holiday festivities, and will undoubtedly feel better about yourself—all at the same time.
- Since love is the theme of Valentine’s Day, why not share it with other people you love like friends an family?
- Until February 15th gets here, cut back on watching TV, listening to the radio, or taking in other media that push the V-Day thing.
- You can take action to meet someone special with whom you can share next Valentine’s Day—or maybe even this one: for example, there are a lot of events for singles held on the 14th itself.
- Why has a particular day been selected for love expression anyway? Could it be to boost sales of flowers, cards and candy during the dry days between Christmas and Easter?
- Many cultures don’t even know from Valentine’s Day.
- There are children starving in Africa and the United States.
Romantic love and companionship are legitimate and powerful needs, and getting them met can be incredibly satisfying. It can also help to think about why the desire for a mate now or at other times is so strong that the absence of one drags us down. Is the intense interest just natural longing, or are boredom, fears about being alone, or how we think being single looks to others part of the mix? Exploring questions like these might make for sweeter February 14s and all the other days in between.
Les
2/08
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