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I THINK I'VE GOT PROBLEMS! (Reader Feedback)
Les,
I like your advice in You Think You’ve Got Problems. It drives me crazy when people go on and on about themselves and seem barely interested in what others have to say. I think you might be giving an example of "I" statements-something I learned in a seminar a while ago. The idea is that when you're bothered by something someone is doing-or not doing-it can help to talk about it from the first person so as not to put the other person on the defensive. So this woman might say something like: "When you keep changing the subject, I feel hurt and frustrated and I feel like you're not really interested in what I have to say". I think that's the gist of it, but correct me if I'm wrong.
Dear Reader,
You got the basic idea! I suggest adjusting your statement to read, "I feel hurt and frustrated when the subject keeps getting changed. It makes me wonder if you're interested in what I'm saying." I turned down the spotlight a bit; the wording changes are minor, but their impact may yield a bigger payoff.
Les
1/08
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