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STRESS EATER WANTS TO KICK THE HABIT

Les,

Hi. I love food and I'm overweight.  The holidays are upon us and already I'm eating more than ever, mostly because it's just so available (parties, etc.). But I also overeat on a regular basis and I think, because I am so stressed.  I'm a single mom and work long hours in customer service for a large department store.  I handle all the complaints.  Maybe it's a comfort thing.  If I'm angry, sad, lonely, tired, totally stressed out, I eat.  And I'm always stressed it seems because of my job for sure.  People can be mean and there are those you just can't please no matter what you do.  I can't quit, that's not an option.  But I can't afford to keep putting on the pounds and risking my health.  What I am even more upset about is that my daughter's eating habits are just like mine, and I realize I am responsible for this. She's just becoming a teenager and is overweight as well.  What can I do to make the drastic changes that are needed to get us both healthy physically and end the pattern of eating to reduce stress and other feelings?

Kaye


Hey Kaye,

A few ideas immediately come to mind thanks to the work you've already done to clearly consider and communicate your stressors and goals.


Pick Alternatives to Eating

For sure, many of us eat, drink and smoke to feel better, especially in response to daily stressors like your displeased and disrespectful customers.  So, what else can you and your daughter do that's easy, satisfying. and healthy?  Work on a list together and try replacing some of your trips to the kitchen with a quick walk, a call to a friend, some spot cleaning around the house, or a little muscular relaxation (see The Tranquilizer in the Relax Now! section of this site).  Since refrigerator runs are like reflex reactions, we often need to retrain ourselves to respond differently to the triggers that promote these trips.  Keep a list of your eating options by your side, on your desktop or stuck to the freezer door to remind you that there are other enjoyable ways to respond to stressors that have the added bonus of subtracting unwanted pounds.

Assemble a Support Team

Back up the above plan by enlisting a few people to call, email or IM when you hear the cafeteria calling.  Your daughter may be one of these on-call coaches (and vice-versa) who will direct you like a GPS to drive right past McDonald's and Mr. Donut.

Shop for Alternative Eats

Now, substitute the sources of your extra calories--the cookies, cakes, candy, ice cream,  soda, cheese burgers and so on--with healthier fat fighting foods and drinks like fruit, nuts, vegetables, soy snacks, and water.  Since quitting the food foraging cold turkey is neither recommended nor likely, at least give yourself a tofu chicken leg up on your weight control quest.

Plan with a Nutritionist

A nutritionist could surely help you and your daughter map out a new route to better health.  It sounds like nutrition consulting services would be available through your employer or a health care provider, and covered by your insurance plan.  Exercise planning in a gym or at home will help and can obviously support your dieting efforts.

Get Enough Sleep

Sleep deprived people produce less of a hormone that tells them that they are no longer hungry.  This was a super-sized finding from a 2004 University of Chicago Medical School study, suggesting that getting enough sleep can  reduce "fake" food cravings.

Counter the Complaints


It can't be easy being a customer service queen.  Y'all are like corporate sponges that have to absorb the problems, anger and attitude of the company's "subjects."  Even though it's not you that stained the dress they just bought, or made the toaster oven they can't turn on, you're the one that takes the heat.  Most emotionally healthy people can't help taking some of this abuse personally, even if they say it's just part of the job.  This is why it's vital to balance this particular brand of work stress with an off the job activity that you enjoy, gets you praise, and builds your self-esteem.

Explore the Feelings-Food Connection

One last suggestion for now.   You also mentioned that sadness,anger and loneliness push you toward food.  As you consider your plan of action for this year and beyond, think about how a therapist or counselor might facilitate your success by helping you to address these common eating stimulants.  Your health plan should also pick up the tab for some or all of this assistance.


Kaye, your daughter is lucky to have you as a role model given your attention and desire to be healthier and happier as we begin this New Year. While I'm at it, thanks for motivating me, and I'm sure other readers, to take similar notice and action.  If you think it might help, send us some progress reports and know that we'll be routing for both of you.

Les
1/08; updated 3/08

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