Les,

I know that eye contact is the most important presentation skill, but I’m not so comfortable looking people right in the eyes at any time. I remember when Marsha Brady imagined her audience in their underwear to calm her speaking stress—any similar tips for the eye-shy?

Robyn

Dear Robyn,

I wouldn’t put eye contact as the #1 public speaking skill, but occasionally and briefly looking, or appearing to look in the eyes of individual audience members can boost the impact of a speaker’s message. Eye contact acts like glue that bonds a speaker to his or her audience by silently saying, “I notice and care about you.” Most of us want to be noticed and cared about, and feeling this way will probably make us more open to a messenger and message.

Eye contact can be an intimate experience that makes it both a powerful and scary act for many speakers. Self-esteem, self-confidence, concentration skills and program preparation can all impact one’s ability to give good eye. Exploring and addressing some of the whys of your eye shyness might make you a less stressed and more skilled speaker whether you’re talking to a crowd of one or 100.

In the meantime, here are some trade secrets for faking eye-contact and compensating for a lack of it during presentations. You can even use these “tricks” as stepping stones toward making your communications easier on the eyes:

• Make forehead, cheekbone or nose bridge contact instead of looking people directly in their baby blues and browns. They won’t notice the difference even if you’re right in their faces. The farther away you are from audience members, the farther from their eyes you can gaze; try talking to their scalps or the clock on the wall behind them and see if they notice. Practice these looks in situations that you deem lower risk before rolling them out live during a talk.
  

• Wear glasses. Not rock star Ray Ban’s, but clear non-prescription lenses that can act as a filter of sorts for both you and your fans. Glasses may give you some psychological distance from all those eyes, and audiences may demand less eye-to-eye from presenters who they think see less than 20/20.

• Reduce your need to make gobs of eye contact by giving attendees other focal points such as multimedia, product and skill demos, and fellow participants during breakout groups. If you go this route, design these activities to support your speaking goals—you’re there to emcee a message, not a three-ring circus (unless you are emceeing a three-ring circus).

• Say some of your audience members’ names during your talk. Doing so also personalizes a presentation.

• Relax before you speak. Do some deep breathing, visualization or other calming techniques to cut down on normal speaking-related tension that can blur the efforts of even the best lookers.

More eye-opening suggestions are always welcome.

Les
1/07