Dear Les:

I've taken on too much and it won't end for another two years. I work, I'm in school, I need time to study, I have little kids and a husband. I make time to work out four times a week but it doesn't quite take away the stress I feel all the time. No matter what I'm doing at that moment, I never feel like I'm doing it well. Not sure I can handle this any more. Help.

Dear Asker,

The last nine words of your question could make up the first nine words of a solution, or a healthier resolution, to the massive weight of all of your responsibilities. It’s encouraging to hear that you can’t, or perhaps don’t want to, continue carrying this crushing load.

Right now, help in the form of a couple of reliable friends and family might be your wisest first step out of what sounds like a crisis. If you haven’t already done so, can you identify some people in your life to whom you can report what’s on your mind, count on for consult 24/7, and who might be able to offer advice along with their good ears and hearts? If you can take two steps at once, seriously consider talking with a counselor who is trained to help you sort out your situation and make a concrete plan to address the sources of your stress and the effect that they are having on you. A professional who is not directly involved in your life can provide an impartial and eye-opening perspective on your stressors that those close to you cannot. Although they’re a big part of your burden, your employer, school and professors should also have some life vests like family support services, delayed exams, incompletes and even leaves of absence.

You’re swirling around in too many stressors to deal with and diffuse them all at once. Identify and act on one or two so you can regain your footing, grab the lifeguard’s hand, and get out of that stress riptide that sucks in even the strongest swimmers. Speaking of swimming, try to hang on to that impressive exercise routine which is no doubt making you stronger in ways that are not always evident. Exercise, especially the aerobic variety, may not pump out all the sludge, but it does strengthen organs and systems constantly challenged by life’s big and small stressors.

When you reach steadier seas, make time to chart a new course or two. Prevent and reduce future stress by examining and building on what you will know about the sources and side effects of your present challenges. Simply tossing school, work and family overboard probably won’t be an option, but making decisions tomorrow with lessons learned yesterday can certainly cut down seasickness on future voyages.

Les
12/06